Dec 30, 2012 7:00am PST
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[ laughs ] hey! >>> this morning, my question and it's a real question. can nerdland pull off a joke show? plus the bloopers that my staff is making me run. and pop quiz, we are going to play name that twin. first, what us nerds find funny about 2012. good morning. i'm melissa harris-perry. nerdland, it has been quite a year. what better way to have spent our first year together here than surviving the ups and downs of election 2012. as i look back, i hope we have been able to give you the kind of thoughtful, sober minded take on presidential elections that our sacred democratic process deserves. after all, choosing our nation's leader is serious business. let me tell you, keeping a straight face throughout the year of absolute absurdity in this political condition has not been easy. come on, rick santorum was a serious contender for the nomination. that happened. and newt gingrich won the south carolina primary. for us political geeks here, the fact that newt gingrich was the jesse jackson of 2012 is complete hilarity. you have to laugh to keep from crying at the biggest punch line of all. after two years of campaigning, a record $2 billion in election spending, the angst, anxiety, where did he end up? where we started. president barack obama in the white house and a house of representatives. we can't hold it in any longer. our very last show of the year is something of an experiment. our first ever annual look back in laughter. we begin the year with the op liptic decline on the mayan calendar. why else would the republicans risk leaving the country? to be run by any of this cast of characters. they thought they would be blown to oblivion. the cookiest of this crew bowed out before 2012 got going. we feared the year might leave us without the gems of 2011, like this one from our favorite pizza man. >> you agreed with president obama on libya or not? >> okay. libya. um, um, nope, that's a different one. i gotta go back and see. all this stuff twirling around in my head. >> or maybe this one from texas governor rick perry who bailed on his presidential hopes by mid january. >> i will tell you, it's three agencies of government when i get there that are gone. commerce, education and the, what's the third one there? let's see. >> yeah. it's one thing to be unable to remember the facts. it is something else to make them up. before disappointing in january, minnesota representative michele bachmann treated us to her version of american history. >> the very founders that wrote those documents worked tirelessly until slavery was no more in the united states. men like john quincy adams who would not rest until slavery was extinguished in the country. >> yeah. the gop was running candidates that just made stuff up. congresswoman, the founders were slave owners and john quincy adams, not a founder. yes, it seemingly reached a mass of election ridiculousness in 2011. the fun was just beginning. no sooner had we cracked over the 2012 calendar than rick santorum dropped this race bait into the political waters in january. >> i don't want to make people's lives better by giving them somebody else's money. >> oh, blah -- right? hearing it once was hilarious enough. even better trying to make us think we didn't hear what we heard. >> i started to say a word and sort of bla -- >> all over the place, didn't you. unfortunately, for rick santorum, the election mounted to a failed attempt to reset the google search of his last name. sorry rick, the redefinition campaign is still number one. but, santorum is not alone among candidates burdened with a google legacy. newt gingrich assured his name will be forever linked in the predictive search with the phrase moon colony when he made this pledge. >> by the end of my second term, we will have the first permanent base on the moon and it will be american. >> i'm not sure which was more unbelievable, the new american territory that jon stewart dubbed moonlandia or a two-term presidency. the moon colony guy looked like the reasonable one next to the candidate who existed purely for entertainment value. ladies and gentlemen, i give you ron paul. >> guess what? being involved in the campaign for liberty -- >> that's enough from you, ron paul. you are done. as they all were. in the end, there could only be one. it's one that republicans should file away under the category of things that seemed like a good idea at the time. because for an american with a limping economy and sluggish job market, the republican party picked as its nominee, the guy who regularly said things like this. >> rick, i'll tell you what, 10,000 bucks -- $10,000 bet. >> and this -- >> i like being able to fire people who provide services to me. >> yeah. no one could have guessed at the beginning of 2012 all the absurd moments of the republican nominating contest, mitt romney's victory would be the most absurd of them all. or by the end of the year, he would be the one having the last laugh. mitt romney didn't really want to be president anyway. in a recent interview with the boston globe, his son tag said of his father that quote, he wanted to be president less than anyone i have met in my life. he has no desire to run. what? stay right there. up next, the old man in the seat. now that was funny. year again. time for citi price rewind. because your daughter really wants that pink castle thing. and you really don't want to pay more than you have to. only citi price rewind automatically searches for the lowest price. and if it finds one, you get refunded the difference. just use your citi card and register your purchase online. have a super sparkly day! ok. 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[ male announcer ] it started long ago. the joy of giving something everything you've got. it takes passion. and it's not letting up anytime soon. at unitedhealthcare insurance company, we understand that commitment. and always have. so does aarp, an organization serving the needs of americans 50 and over for generations. so it's no surprise millions have chosen an aarp medicare supplement insurance plan, insured by unitedhealthcare insurance company. like all standardized medicare supplement plans, they help cover some of the expenses medicare doesn't pay. and save you up to thousands in out-of-pocket costs. to find out more, request your free decision guide. call or go online today. after all, when you're going the distance, it's nice to have the experience and commitment to go along with you. keep dreaming. keep doing. go long. >>> i wondered about, you know, when the what? what do you want me to tell romney? i can't tell him to do that. he can't do that to himself. >> sometimes the stuff just writes itself. that was clint eastwood talking to a chair at the republican national convention. it was a moment that had us cringing but cracking up at the same time. while it may have been a memorable moment, it had a lot of competition. from moments of sheer madness because between the madness and the debates, the hits kept coming. i have assembled a superpower panel of funny. at the table today, april roster of comedians, jaime coe host of radio. the founder of the new york arab american comedy festival. elan james white is a blogger and friend of nerdland and molly, a writer and co-host of radio dispatch. nice to have you all here. >> thank you. >> thank you for having us. >> we did have a good time as a team going through everything that happened during 2011. jaime, what was your favorite moment of 2012? >> you after commercial saying that was clint eastwood talking to a chair. my second -- first of all, so i don't forget, i have to sort of stick up for ron paul quickly. i'm not one of those guys, but i did like that ron paul was the only candidate that wanted to end the wars and he talked about the war on drugs. he was so crazy on other things. >> he wanted to end the war except the war on people without insurance in the hospital. >> or people who don't have -- so, because of all that stuff, i kind of have this fantasy where ron paul and obama would do an '80s movie body switch where they learn a lesson. obama is like we should end the war on drugs and ron paul is like i don't hate women. my favorite moment was mitt romney. i think it was the 47% speech because republicans do this, like, like when george bush had a word faux pas, i didn't care. we laughed because we were like he doesn't know words. when mitt romney did it, he was telling the truth. that was brilliant. republicans are good at turning horrible things -- if they have a bill to destroy the environment it's called -- >> save the earth. >> or something like that. romney was straight up like don't say anything about poor people, i hate poor people. i love the 47% speech. it shows what the republicans stand for. >> it was a clarifying moment. one of my favorite moments was during the vice president debate. i felt joe biden was doing the same thing. he was clarifying this is pure ridiculousness. we had to cut this down a little bit. let's watch vp biden during the vp debate. >> transition. but what we also want to do in spite of their opposition. >> oh, god. >> this idea came from the clinton -- >> the answer, please. >> did they -- this is a plan that is bipartisan. >> no massive -- >> it's what we do. we do it for all constituents. >> i love that. >> it's how we all were responding to the whole thing. what? >> joe biden. i was happy there weren't commercials on that. if he had time to stop and go over to paul ryan and pee on his leg to show dominance. let's have the moment to acknowledge the magic amount biden had to get away with that. for the most part, he got away with that. imagine if the president was constantly laughing at his opponent, that would not have gone well. not well at all. >> not only white privilege. think about if joe biden behaved that way toward sarah palin, not only would he have been attacked. it's like he suddenly realized, that's totally what he wanted to do during the entire debate in 2008 and now he was okay to do it. >> he was holding it in for four years. >> if i mock paul ryan, is everybody going to be okay with that? yeah. >> i had my favorite moment of the debates. when he screamed in his face, oh, so now you're jack kennedy. that was the moment where it use like oh, this is like when you are talking to your dad and he turns around and says enough out of you. joe biden put that boy in his place. it reminded me of kathy bates. >> the part where she hits it car. >> he just spanked the guy. it was fantastic. the jack kennedy line was epic. it was my favorite line of the debate. >> i went into the debates cynical. biden is not going to say anything to paul ryan. he said that line and i was like oh! he said it! >> part of the reason this was happening is because we were so sad on the left after the first one. we just have to take a look at president obama during that first debate. it was -- it was a sad moment. the reason we were so excited about biden, what was going on there? >> i'm glad we had the sad drama. it sound tracked to 2012. i feel like biden is like a fun dad but then was able in the debate to get away with being angry dad. he's like fun, laughing, i'm kind of condescending to this guy and then with the jack kennedy line, like seriously, don't mess around. >> that's the thing. joe biden is your crazy uncle joe. it's not a joke. you go to thanksgiving dinner and mention something. don't mention it then he's like i'm getting out. uncle joe, go back a little bit. now i have to say -- >> so i think it was funny that the president actively tried to be funny in multiple points of the debate. when he woke up for the foreign policy debate, he had a great moment where he makes the bayonet joke. let's listen to the president being funny. >> you mentioned the navy, for example. we have fewer ships in we have fewer horses and bayonets. >> classic. >> let's go, obama. did his staff finally find the adrenaline pump and stab him? he woke up. i was clapping saying please, continue this, whatever is happening, please. >> it was good stuff. >> i feel like the first time out, cousin obama was channelling his inner middle eastern leader like why is this man talking to me. i think that's what it was. the next time, he was a comic that forgot to do his jokes so he used every whitey comeback he forgot the first time. >> right. >> you could hear the collective cheer of all the democrats after that bayonet line. everyone was like yes. >> don't call it a comeback. >> i want to know who wrote that line. he must have been doing the "w" in the back. a win. >> whoever the young staffer was on friday in the wings when the president decided to turn to people and say i can hear you. i can hear you talking. >> that was a bad moment. >> if i heard the news correctly, the nra disappeared the young staffer. >> unless he was the one who wrote the bayonet joke then maybe there's forgiveness. there was another great moment i thought the president had in the second debate when he did the get the transcript moment. let's watch the president doing that. >> get the transcript. >> he did. >> can you say that louder candy? >> say it louder, candy. >> here is why it was amazing. some news shows, that aren't this news show refused to get the transcript. they called her out for being bias for reading words that happened. some news shows bring on the democrat and the republican. the democrat is like 2 plus 2 equals 4 and the republicans are like 2 plus 2 equals i hate women or something. the newscaster will be like i guess we'll never know. no, you do know. you have computers and staff. google it and tell me which one is right and who is lying. that was a moment where she said he is lying. i think everyone watching was like oh, this is what journalists can do because they have pieces of paper with the facts. >> up next, the most incredible one liner from election night. mine was earned off vietnam in 1968. over the south pacific in 1943. i got mine in iraq, 2003. usaa auto insurance is often handed down from generation to generation. because it offers a superior level of protection, and because usaa's commitment to serve the military, veterans and their families is without equal. begin your legacy, get an auto insurance quote. usaa. we know what it means to serve. with a new project in mind, some how-to knowledge to give us an new years clutter is no match for someone with big ideas. edge, and more savings down every aisle. it only takes a few twists and turns for those bright ideas to make the new year even brighter. more saving. more doing. that's the power of the home depot. start fresh and save with hdx 20 gallon totes, a special buy at just $5.88 a piece. >>> today, we are looking back on the political year that was. this year's election has us up to the very end. who couldn't forget the moment on election night everyone was talking about the next day? i don't mean the historic re-election of president obama. i mean karl rove's inability to process the fact it happened. >> do you believe that ohio has been settled? >> no, i don't. look, if we are calling this on the basis of 74% of the vote being in. when 77% is in, the director of the ohio campaign for romney on the other end of the line refreshing the page every few seconds. >> no word on if he's refreshing the website. seriously? >> i feel like you have been mean to karl rove. you have to understand where he was coming from. he wasted over a quarter billion dollars from failing. it was epic. what am i supposed to do. you just wasted millions of dollars. other people's money. people gave you money. you said i got this, i understand this. they gave you hundreds of millions of dollars, you fail and the camera is on you. i would have been -- ohio doesn't exist. i don't see why you are counting votes from them. >> i was waiting for him to say you want evidence, i stole the 2004-2008 election. >> they sent them back to the decision desk. you have to go back and see if it's true. >> it was a great moment. you have this rich white dude to the host, woman go find numbers. >> the only time i was like yeah, go megan kelly, go. >> she found a way to destroy the moment. she needed help getting down three stairs. she's like i'm a feeble woman in heels, please help me. i was waiting for karl rove to lose it like a real housewife stripped down naked and scream jiha jihad. >> i would have loved to hear it. >> everybody's head explodes and fox news goes black. >> it did feel like there was a fair bit of implosion going on. it was odd to watch the republicans we often thought of as crafty, maybe scary, but not just implod iing. for me, it was mitt romney saying he was going to fire big bird. we have to remind ourselves of that. >> i'm sorry, i'm going to stop the subsidy to pbs. i like pbs. i like big bird. i actually like you, too. i'm not going borrow money from china to pay for it. >> sad. no more big bird. >> that happened. >> that's mitt romney. the whole election we get watching it. the whole time we watch mitt romney do these things where you go common says you can't do that. a side note, why was he moderating at the time? i felt like he didn't want to be there. they kidnapped his daughter and liam neeson was looking for him. romney was like he did that the entire time. he put his foot in his mouth more time in this election. he made that move, made a birther joke. a birther joke. a birther joke! >> you have been called many things but -- mitt romney has been called many things in 2012 and beyond but i'm going to go with here, it's the first time he was called a -- kneegrow. >> he doesn't have that? is that a rumor? >> this will give him confidence when he goes to the naacp. >> they knew romney was making a mess. my governor, bobby jindal immediately threw romney under the bus worse than romney threw big bird under the bus. take a listen. >> we have to compete for 100% of the vote, not 53% but 100% of the vote. governor romney's campaign i don't think laid out a specific vision in connection with the american voters. governor romney is an honorable person and should be thanked for his many years of public service. his campaign was by his biography and experience. >> tag romney, with the clip you played earlier. he never wanted to run for president. when did romney become a hipster dude who is like oh, i never wanted to run for president. i want to listen to the violin. everyone included, when your son is trying to, like that line is amazing, too. he doesn't want to be president. maybe you should have stopped tweeting vote for my dad for president. maybe you shouldn't have been out campaigning. >> that's the thing. what you are seeing from jindal and other republicans is they didn't want romney, per se. they were always trying to hedge their bet. like the chris christie speech of the rnc. it's like i am amazing. you might not have heard this about me. i understand we are voting for someone else. remember, four years from now, i'm amazing. >> that was the final vision of 2012, hurricane sandy hits, it is a tragic moment and the embrace of chris christie and president obama that moment that says, you know what? clearly, i did not believe mitt romney could possibly win this election so i'm going to hug the current democratic president of the united states. when i come back, you are going to play a pop quiz. we are going to name that twit. go ahead, you can play along at home, too. ♪ [ male announcer ] you've reached the age where you don't back down from a challenge. this is the age of knowing how to make things happen. so, why let erectile dysfunction get in your way? talk to your doctor about viagra. 20 million men already have. ask your doctor if your heart is healthy enough for sex. do not take viagra if you take nitrates for chest pain; it may cause an unsafe drop in blood pressure. side effects include headache, flushing, upset stomach, and abnormal vision. to avoid long-term injury, seek immediate medical help for an erection lasting more than four hours. stop taking viagra and call your doctor right away if you experience a sudden decrease or loss in vision or hearing. this is the age of taking action. viagra. talk to your doctor. smoke? nah, i'm good. ♪ [ male announcer ] every time you say no to a cigarette, you celebrate a little win. nicoderm cq, the patch with time release smart control technology that acts fast and helps control cravings all day long. ♪ quit one day at a time with nicoderm cq. >>> shakespeare said brevity is the soul of whit. if you can do it in 140 characters you might have the soul of a twit. in 2012 there was a half billion registered twitter users. some were unforgotable. this morning, it's time for a pop quiz. all right. i know. it makes me happy. we'll reveal our favorite tweets and see if the panel can do it. everyone has a bell. i will read you the tweet and then you ring in and then you tell me who you think it was. here is the very first one. >> i get deadly competitive, by the way, guys. >> here we go. if romney gets elected, i don't know if i can breathe the same air as him and his woman hating tea bagger masters. >> me. >> it was not you. >> i don't know. >> this is someone who has quite a crush on chris hayes. who is the host -- >> me. sorry. >> it's also someone who is a superstar who has one name, but it is not madonna. >> cher. >> yeah! >> she didn't ring the bell. >> how do you not know cher has a crush on chris hayes? where have you been? which candidate tweeted this on election night. this election is a total sham and travesty. we are not a democracy. >> candidate? >> it was a candidate. >> in the race? >> i don't think michele bachmann has a twitter. >> no longer in the race and a billionaire. almost candidate. an almost candidate. >> donald trump. >> there you go. >> ahh. >> he was a pretend candidate. he thinks he can do whatever he wants because he had money. >> sometimes he has money. all right. which actor gave us this tweet. you know your party is in trouble when you read this, a, the rape guy lost, b, which one? >> i'm so bad at games. >> ben affleck. >> good idea. actually, this guy is the lead character in a show that is centered around this building. >> alec baldwin. >> yeah. we got a couple of them. >> adam baldwin is the racist one. he shames the baldwin family. >> i hope he walks in and says how did you not know. sthak would be good if alec baldwin walked in. >> he hovers around "30 rock." >> which conservative candidate gave us this one, excuse me, journalist gave this tweet. horrible possibility, if the geeks are right about ohio, might they be right about the climate? this is a journalist conservative who writes for the daily beast. a recent e-book. >> conservative and journalist is an oxy moron. >> recent e-book titled "why romney lost." >> joe scarborough. >> not him. >> david frum. >> i prefer her answer. >> i only asked because he and nate silverhead -- >> i hope joe scarborough walks in. >> which presidential candidate tweeted this, honored to have chuck norris' endorsement, he will make an excellent secretary of attack. >> i'm guessing because he's crazy, mike huckabee? >> no. a candidate who -- >> i'm going to steal all your tickers. >> this is a guy named after a small, green, lizard creature. >> newt. >> there you go, newt gingrich. that is clearly socialist. some kind of redistribution of nerdland stickers. >> which antitax titan tweeted this, a bench twinkie, shop at walmart today. >> that horrible guy. >> the guy -- the guy -- grover norquist. >> there you go. named after a fuzzy blue sesame street. i have a bonus one for you. some people are going to have problems if they don't get this. which comedian stirred up controversy? >> chris rock. >> yes. the answer is chris rock and the tweet is happy white people's independence day, the slaves weren't free, but i'm sure they enjoyed the fireworks. >> that was on the black level. it's our psychic ability there. >> i literally got a participation sticker. i'm going wear it proudly. that's what i got. >> thank you for playing. when we come back, i'm going to talk about how chick-fil-a broke my heart in 2012. >>> this year was so politicized waffle fries became a statement. >> a little concerned about this issue of the family and how we define the family. we want to encourage our nation that god sets a standard to what a family is. it's not going to come out of washington. we ought to pray for our politicians and the thought leaders. we are out here to sell chicken. >> just trying to sell some chicken while using millions of those proceeds to support organization that is are anti-same-sex marriage. when the public outcry got loud, it was mike huckabee to the rescue declaring august 1 to be chick-fil-a day. church folk raised their fist full of chicken for support. sometimes chicken isn't just chicken. dorey clark is joining us. i have to say, there is something wonderful that it felt like homophobia became the thing. >> it's true. in the case of chick-fil-a, they are bitter that all the lesbians are bitter. >> wow. that's why lesbians like me so much. i'm a vegan. >> the story wasn't so much about everyone is still eating there. it's about the boycott. i was a part of it. it was horrid. i travel. chick-fil-a was a thing for me. for me, i like chick-fil-a, i love chick-fil-a. it was easy when people you don't like their stuff like papa johns, i don't care, i'm from new york, i know what pizza tastes like. but chick-fil-a, whoa! >> i would have been in trouble if it was a co-op. >> this was real. when i got to charlotte, which is where the dnc convention was and it was chick-fil-a everywhere. i was like i'm boycotting them. even if i weren't, can you imagine msnbc anchor seen with chick-fil-a bag at dnc. >> it's a shot where you are running with the bag. >> i had moments where i thought about who was looking. i was standing in front of chick-fil-a. one chick -- i mean how is this going to hurt gains. it's a sandwich. this is not right. >> then you had to walk away. >> 15 years ago, we were all cracker barrel. they were the homophobic one. they are cooler with gay people, so i had to move on. >> i was such a jerk, i was a progressive racist against cracker barrel. i was like that sounds right. the one with the porch swing. >> that doesn't sound quite progressive. >> there was the boycott on the other side, of course, the jc penny boycott because of ellen. meanwhile, we are suffering around having no waffle fries, but we saw the sense of -- that's what we are showing for that? okay. i don't know why. that's what we picked. okay. >> boycotting jc penney is not, it makes no sense to me. nobody chooses to go to jc penney. it's not something you can boycott. you don't choose to go to penney's. >> i'm feeling bad for them now, i want to go buy a belt or something. >> i wasn't a jc penney fan, but i have to find something. >> you can smell the led. >> that sponsor is gone. what else we got. >> what else do we have? i have to say, the one that really, that i have to say hurt was the american family association saying that it was gays who cause the hurricane. let's listen to this. >> new orleans like many places in america servely has more than her share of decadence. you could say well, what about san francisco, there are never hurricanes or typhoons there. no, they just have some of the most devastating earthquakes in american history there. >> so, apparently, the home that i just bought that ended up on the ground because of isaac came because, maybe because i'm an ally but certainly because of the decadence of my city. >> i thought it was because of the wind. i'm old fashioned, i guess. >> the rain, maybe. >> pat robinson said the gay's caused 9/11. it's a long history of treachery. >> of the causes. >> if i were a republican, i believe the homosexuals caused these things, i would be nicer to them. listen, can we get a summery. >> you are bad. some good stuff happened. when we come back, we are going to talk about the reasons they are worth celebrating and raise our champaign glasses. >> we are the shoulder your girlfriend cries on when complaining about you. >> we know all of your weaknesses. >> you have death stars and we are an army of fabulous luke sky walkers. >> we are doing you a solid by being attracted to each other than your girlfriends. >>> it was a banner year for lbgt rights with the full implementation of don't ask don't tell and the same exmarriage in maine, maryland, washington state and minnesota. 2012 is the first out and proud senator was elected along in the process with the re-election of president obama who was called the country's first gay president. for his endorsement on same-sex marriage. out magazine called this year's election the year of the gay. so, what do we think? obviously, the president isn't actually gay. neither was bill clinton actually black and there was a sense that the president in coming out for marriage equality changed the game. >> he was pushed off the diving board a little bit as you talked about by the vice president. absolutely. i think the fact the president came out in support of gay marriage, the fact that in four states for the first time voters were voting positively toward gay marriage or blocking in the case of minnesota, the shrine on gay marriage. what was happening is for the first time voters said the world is going to end anyway thanks to the mayan calendar. >> let's look at the marriage equality. it looks so much better than it once did. it's worth pausing. it also, however, is noticeably above the mason-dixon line. it is doing much better. we know there are whole parts of the country where it's not good to be gay. >> it was so ground breaking for, you know, for a serious moment for president obama to come out on this even if he was shoved by joe because he breaks ground for so many different communities. you have the president saying this. that's huge. you have a person of color saying this. then you have a muslim coming out. we are not what you think. >> that's definitely true. >> it's not true that the president is muslim. >> i think, you know, like i want to celebrate all the victories but we know your audience agrees with the victories because they are terrible monsters. >> some of them. >> i want to say to mostly democrats watching, sorry, i think it's time we stop supporting any democrat who can't get on stage next to a homophobe and say you are ridiculous. they are saying it's going to ruin the sanctity of marriage. you are the only one that can ruin your marriage. they act like if gay people can marry in all the united states, there's going to be a farmer down south who looks up at his tv and has been married 30 years and has kids and a dog and gay people can marry, he's going to look at his wife and say now i can open up the candy factory i have been dreaming about. it's not going to happen. the first state that legalized gay marriage has the lowest divorce rate. >> the country is for. it's leaning on that. we have the majority at this point. i would argue that we should thank the republicans and george bush for this. after eight years of the country going completely to crap, people were way less worried about two gays getting married and more worried about their 401(k). get married, that's fine. could you get me a job? >> it's completely generational. the numbers seem to show. justice delays is justice denied. clearly, just when people die, it's going to be all right. on this one topic, we have to let the old guys die. then it's going to be fine. >> except for the old gay people. >> the marriage equality poster is just there saying wait? that is terrible and hilarious. >> and a rainbow above it. >> there are you go. >> when we come back, we are going to say why women have the last laugh in 2012. since i've lost weight i have so much more energy than i used to, when i'm out with my kids, my daughter's like, "mom, wait up!" and i'm thinking, "shouldn't you have more energy than me? you're, like, eight!" [ male announcer ] for every 2 pounds you lose through diet and exercise alli can help you lose one more by blocking some of the fat you eat. simple. effective. advantage: mom. let's fight fat with alli. have a healthier holiday at letsfightholidayfat.com. have a healthier holiday with a new project in mind, some how-to knowledge to give us an new years clutter is no match for someone with big ideas. edge, and more savings down every aisle. it only takes a few twists and turns for those bright ideas to make the new year even brighter. more saving. more doing. that's the power of the home depot. start fresh and save with hdx 20 gallon totes, a special buy at just $5.88 a piece. >>> welcome back. i'm melissa harris perry. we are looking back at the moments of 2012 that made nerdland do a double take and say, say what? how politicians, especially republicans dealt with women. i mean they tried to deal with women, but they failed. they had the wrong message, the wrong tactics, definitely the wrong emissaries. >> i love you women. >> i don't know about the rnc women, but i sure didn't feel the love this year. especially hen your husband said this. >> we took an effort to go out and find women who had backgrounds to be qualified to become members of our cabinet. i went to a number of women's groups to help us find groups. they brought us binders full of women. >> right, mitt. that's where you find qualified women, in binders. now you'll have plenty of time to look through them. not only did they want to put women in binders, but they wanted to be up in our vajjs. what is your fascination with the female reproductive system. apparently, you don't know a thing about how it works. >> this contraceptive thing, my gosh, it's so inexpensive. back in my days, they used bare aspirin for contraceptive. the gals put it between their knees. it wasn't that costly. >> excuse me, i'm trying to catch my breath from that. >> when you leave a professional like andrea mitchell speechless, you have said something very wrong. it's as though republicans came down with a bad case of foot and mouth disease when it came to women's reproductive rights. >> if it's a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down. >> this is an issue that opponents of life throw out there to make us look unreasonable. there's no such exception as life of the mother. >> even when life begins in that horrible situation of rape, it is something that god intended to happen. >> i just want to be sure i got it right. the female uterous is magical. if you are raped, you shouldn't end that pregnancy because it was god's will. add to these comments that republican led legislatures tried to pass. arizona house bill 2036 or the mothers health and safety act looks to ban abortions beyond 20 weeks. the only exception is in the case of a medical emergency. that law is being challenged. bob mcdonnell signed a bill into law requiring women to have an ultrasound prior to getting an abortion. she won't have to see the imaging or hear the heart beat. >> thanks. ohio has attempted to limit rights. >> i think my colleagues are going to talk. >> this is a message to the gop. >> for those of you in the back of the room, would you like to read what it says. get out of our panties. >> this year, they were more concerned with telling women who to do with our bodies and getting into our panties for no purposes and left them looking quite tone death. frankly, fellows, that may be why you lost the white house. you were more concerned with what is between our legs and we are dealing with what is between our ears to beat you. molly is with us. mason is the founder and new york arab comedy festival, dorie clark and jaime, the co-host of citizens radio. >> i'm sorry for my people. >> could you please defend white men in this moment? >> got it. i -- first of all, i was not aware the ut rouse is not magical. this is a dark day for me. i don't -- i mean, i'm glad it happened because, again, like the mitt romney 47%, here is what we think. if you told me an old withering white guy is going to go on tv and actually say back in my day, i didn't think people said that without -- i was waiting for if she talked back we murdered her for being a witch. it was so crazy but this is what a lot of the quote unquote moderate conservatives. we talk about moderates, oh, he doesn't want to stone gay people so he's a moderate. if you are against a woman's right to do what she wants with her body, you are not a moderate, at all. i don't care about your tax policy, you are not a moderate. >> we were not talking abortion. we had birth control on the table. >> i say this to my friends. i felt they were trying to kill me with women's policies. i'm one of those freaky people that takes birth control medicinely. i take nothing else prescription. that is all i take. so, they don't want me to take my birth control. if i get knocked up, it will kill me like shelby from "steel magnolias" but they won't let me have an abortion. apparently, birth control is 99.8% successful. i did get knocked up. i had a miscarriage but i still had to have an abortion. they would want you to wait until you went septic like the woman did in ireland. their goal was to kill me. i talked to my sisters and we decided to sink them first. >> seriously, to sink them first. when we look at the numbers, what happened? when there are ways to read the outcomes, basically women voters in this election, i think didn't feel the sense of trying to be killed, but when you saw women overall chose president obama over mitt romney, 55 to 44. there you go. then you look at single women, 67-31, it's not close. >> there was a revolt among women. even women who were not political or super into politics. you hear mostly old white dudes trying to push forward as much legislation as possible. they can't even say the word vagina. it was a contest to see how many body parts they could restrict without saying it. >> you could say transvaginal. >> a politician kept saying transv blah, blah. women realized now it's personal. >> the counter legislation that legislatures put out. there was a lot of hilarity in these. in oklahoma, sb 1433, every sperm is sacred. it's like you can't jerk off. then georgia, we introduced the antivasectomy act. you had to have a heart pap paation test first. in ohio the viagra bill to make it equally as difficult to get as birth control and in virginia, the idea of rectal exams and cardiac stress tests before viagra prescription. >> i think it's a great point. what's especially funny about the ann romney speech, i love women, was, they are so heavily scripted. the talks at the rnc, go through a million edits. the big thing, she's deviating from the script. this is the real ann romney. it's like she's rod stewart. i love you women. there she is. >> right. that was her unscripted real moment. >> right. >> and that really -- the whole republican convention was like the whole political circus in action. you have a bunch of men or men's wives or women politicians who had spent the whole year trying to restrict women's bodies. then they get up there and the big save, they are like oh, i don't care about rape or birth control or abortion. they get up there and they are like i have a mother. it's their grace. that's like the ultra inversion of i have a black friend. i came out after a lady's vagina, i can't hate women. >> the word mom was interchanged with women. all the little boys and future moms out there, completely erased the female identity. how could paul ryan hate women if he has a mom. all the mothers out there and the people who cook me food. >> mitt romney was going to give women flex time so they could go home to cook food. i thought the most sad and absurd moment was the -- you were talking about how you got together to defeat them. it was the planned parenthood versus susan komen fight. in the midst of this, we had to deal with women's reproductive rights were at odds with one another. that was painful. thank you dorie, i appreciate you coming to play on the show. we'll be back with more. after the break, sandra fluke. she will tell us about the year she is never going to forget. have a good night. here you go. you, too. i'm going to dream about that steak. i'm going to dream about that tiramisu. what a night, huh? 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[ male announcer ] one pill each morning. 24 hours. zero heartburn. satisfaction guaranteed or your money back. >>> we're back discussing the absurd moments of 2012 that involved men making comments about women and their bodies that were just plain bananas. elan is back at the table. joining me from washington, d.c. is the woman who literally became the face of women, sandra. nice to see you. >> nice to be here. >> you have gone out and hung out with us in atlanta a couple times. this is the most ridiculous of them all. sorry you are not here to have champaign with us. >> where is my champaign? i see this happening -- >> i'm very sorry. it did feel, at a certain point, like what happened was simply absurd. you sort of had to laugh at the ridiculousness of finding yourself. you have been an amazing clarion voice on this question. the fact you ended up there. >> yeah. it's certainly been an absurd year. i have to correct you on that it's just been this year. i have been plotting 2012 with president obama for many years. it's actually, i planted my law school tuition paid for to create this controversy. >> i had no idea. >> i actually changed my name to make it seem like it was more of a random occurrence. my relatives asked me, why didn't we go with something easier to pronounce when we changed it to be fluke as in an unexpected random occurrence. >> gotcha. i'm still pronouncing it wrong. more on that later in the show. >> it's okay. i want to bring in the panelists on this. if there was one moment, it was that panel of all men sitting in front of the congress, actually talking about women -- just the visual of that was so far beyond anything imaginable. >> we keep having these moments in america that remind me of being in the middle east. again, a room full of men discussing women's issues without a woman there. it's what you see on egyptian state television. i want to commend sandra for being so, like grace under fire. if rush limbaugh called me a slut, people would be holding me back and i might be taking off my rings. >> what's great about the all male panel, too, was it turned meta. there would be all male panels on tv talking about the all male panels. where are the women at. it was a self-perpetuating thing. lucky, sandra was able to, her voice was imply fied. watching the echo chamber of males discussing female issues over and over throughout the election. >> speaking of males discussing female issues, i have something to say. i'm a huge, also fan of what sandra has done. something i think we need to talk about is a lot of, even in the liberal sphere of men, being a feminist ends at supporting abortion because we don't want to wear a condom. sorry. when she said jerking off -- >> oh, wow. >> i think that, you know, people like sandra and every female journalist i know and my female friends on twitter, the level of abuse they get is so much worse than what any man i have seen ever gets. you are talking rape threats daily. you are talking people hacking into their stuff saying they are going to find their addresses. a lot of this stems from culture from harassment culture. i think it's time for all men to start calling out other men. if one of your friends, even if it's heckling a girl on the street, it's become so accepted. >> part of that is reflected in politics. as the year comes to a close, we are pointing out the absurd and there's a ridiculousness of the violence against women act held up in congress. it's held up because it enumerates protections of victims of domestic violence in lbgt communities. folk who is could be deported so they don't come forward when they have been victimized by domestic violence and providing native american tribes with the ability to prosecute against non-indians who are offenders. they seem so common sense. as we end 2012, this may not pass. >> yeah. that's right. it's going to have to be a fight in the next congress. it seems like the provision at stake is about allowing women on tribal lands to hold accountable the abusers or those who have assaulted them. there seems to be some conservative leaders in congress who are more concerned about the concerns of that abuser than about those women and their ability to access orders of protection and have a fair trial for those who have assaulted them. >> as much as it feels like we walk away from 2012 with a sense of victory, that reality of being held up helps us realize the war on women continues. >> this situation, the conversation we are having is why i question the idea of american exceptionalism. if we were so exceptional, we would have common sense. hey, we are talking about controlling a woman's body. probably should have a woman in the room. i don't understand how no one could -- excuse me, we are talking about vaginas and we don't have one. get one in here so we don't look terrible. >> get an intern vie jinah. >> no! do not get an intern. absolutely not. >> it's that frightening. congress being disappointing every single time. with the violence against women act, you are nitpicking and giving no acknowledgement to their safety. they also failed the disability treaty. >> right. >> it's like, it doesn't matter how simple the vote yes should be. they are still nitpicking and ignoring they are people. >> i want to remind folks if they don't know the story. this is a treaty to simply say, it's not a law. we have the americans with disabilities act, it's to say it should be part of the international -- >> the treaty was based on our law and bob dole came out and he even -- like how do you say no to bob dole? i was taught to respect my elders. we failed it. like we said, with the american exceptionalism, when we are not first and foremost protecting our women, when we refuse to protect the disabled, worldwide, we lose nothing. it's why we are at 4%. >> let me end with you, sandra. we want a new year's resolution for 2013 for those of us concerned with reproductive rights. what should be on our agenda next year? >> the violence against women act. we were just talking about the disability treaty. i would love to see ratification of the women's rights treaty, the u.n. treaty there. overall, what should be the resolution is be involved and informed. to not, as the president said, democracy doesn't just happen on election day. be really involved in contacting our legislatures even when it's not an election year. >> you were truly exceptional this year. i appreciate the number of times you have spent time with us here in nerdland. >> thank you for having me. even without the champaign. >> up next, i destroyed sandra's last name. i'm going to show you a very personal blooper reel. 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[ male announcer ] now all you need is a magic carriage. citi price rewind. start saving at citi.com/pricerewind. >>> okay. turn about is fair play. the next segment is one my staff is gently forcing me to do. full disclosure, i have not seen what you are about to see. it's a little bit terrifying. i can tell you this, if new year is about resolutions, then i vow, okay, i really do vow to do my very best not to do what you are about to see me do over and over again. roll the package. ♪ >> in pennsylvania last week, state representative let the cat out of the bag. >> jimenez. >> a high school english teacher. >> jimenez. sorry. jimenez. why do i do this. perhaps i needed more spanish in my public education. >> sonia coordinator for the women's network. deputy editor of think progress.com. i feel like i butchered your name. all right. i have a tendency to do that. i am killing your name for you, sorry. undergrad at barner -- lola. writer and social commentator. joining us is katie mccormick. secretary to former press secretary to first lady michelle obama. joining us at the table is stephanie. pronounce your last name for me. i know your work so well. stephanie, tell me -- i'm bad. i'm bad. jeff jacoby, columnist. i apologize for getting your last name wrong, jacoby. jeff jacoby. i keep doing it. >> well, if you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at? up next, the year in race. really. something made your jaw drop? campbell's has 24 new soups that will make it drop over, and over again. ♪ from jammin' jerk chicken, to creamy gouda bisque. see what's new from campbell's. it's amazing what soup can do. >>> welcome back. it's our year in review show. we have hit on politics, we talked lgbt for 2012 and covered the ladies issues out. this mmhp and us sitting here in nerdland, yep, we are going to talk race. what better time to do a 2012 race discussion, what better way to start it than in this moment. roll the split screen. yep, there it is. the naacp convention from july. there was mitt romney and there was joe biden. let's listen first to governor romney's address, shall we? >> if our goal is jobs, we have to stop spending over $1 trillion more than we take in every year. and so -- and so to do that, i'm going to eliminate every nonessential program i can find. that includes obama care. i'm going to work to reform and save -- >> boo! >> okay. let's hear some of the vice president. >> i'm a united states senator and vice president of the united states for one reason. because i was educated. i was educated by lewis l. redding. i was educated by reverend moyer and i went through the battle with mouse. mousey are you out there? hey, mouse, how you doing, man? >> i love that moment. mouse, mouse, mouse. the best joke of all majors despite the billboards trying to scare us and the laws designs and the long lines meant to exhaust us, we, the black folks of america voted, big time. take a look at this chart. it might look confusing. the latest research from the pugh center found african-americans voted at a higher rate this year than other minority groups. for the first time in history, may have voted at a higher rate than white voters. african-americans make up about 12% of the u.s. population but were 13% of voter turnout. white americans make up 71% of the population. excuse me, of the voting population but 72% of voter turnout. after all those turnouts of voter suppression, surprise, black voters came out in mass. back at the table with a bunch of comedians. nice to see you. my favorite moment of the entire campaign was biden and the mouse comment. he became -- >> uncle joe. >> uncle joe. he's speaking somewhere. relax. that's him. it actually comes off genuine, which is why he gets away with it. after that naacp event, mitt romney went out somewhere that night and then bragged about getting booed. we were like listen, if they want free stuff, vote for the other guy. we did. >> i want mousey out there to be my stand-up catch phrase. i never had a catch phrase. mouse, are you out there and high five everybody. it makes me so happy. the minute i'm on citizen radio, i never admitted it on cable, but i didn't vote. i was apathetic. i didn't vote until, i don't know, recently. obama primaries, obama/hillary was the first time i voted. one of the reasons i voted. i wonder if it's what happened with the black community, all the candidates were the same. i didn't know about politics and i was lazy. did you know karl rove is rigging elections and trying to make it so you don't vote. i signed up and voted. every time i vote, i'm like go to hell rove. i vote. if people are work thag hard to suppress your vote, maybe your voice matters. >> you hit on the magical part. the evil folks in the room, we are going to disenfranchise the vote, they didn't realize the civil rights movement wasn't that far gone. all of a sudden, all black people came out saying you know we died for the vote. go out there and vote. vote now. >> every person in a civil rights march came out and was like, vote. they didn't realize how that works. >> it was shocking how many young people who weren't part. they felt that sense of, okay, they may not be perfect choices. part of it certainly was the voter suppression. the other piece of it was what constantly felt like racialized attacks. i want to talk about mitt romney and self-deportation. >> the answer is self-deportation. people decide they can do better going home because they can't find work here because they don't have legal documentation to work here. >> that's the thing. i think there's racism has been a part of every presidential election and there's been racist language employed. 2012, the palpable racism of basically all the republican candidates and especially of romney, you can sense it. you can sense it during the debates and when he was on stage with obama. you can feel it. for me, watching him made me furious. his white privilege and his feelings of superiority felt very, very clear. they were emanating from him. >> be careful in that. within the context of jokes, i don't want to label mitt romney himself individually a racist, i don't know what is in his heart. there was a way like self-deportation that had a clear racialized overtone. it was not the self-deportation of the french-canadians, it was spanish speaking latinos. >> you say it's not fair to call him a racist, but he did no favors for himself. number one, he confused obama with giving people free stuff. you can't tell black people apart, obviously and he went on tele-mundo in brown make up. >> i'm sorry, that happened? >> have you seen him on tele-mundo? >> the grinch's heart got bigger, he got more tan. >> same orange. >> i agree with you. we have to be careful about how we label things. the only thing they will hear is all of them in the race. clearly, it's not what i'm saying. it wasn't a year of racism. it was a year of white privilege. the idea is white privilege was so, like, they didn't understand what was happening. it was one of the first times where it happened and there's a chorus of people saying hey, that's a lot of white privilege you have there. what are you talking about? we are completely fine. it kept happening. it's why we noticed it so much. we called it out almost every time. >> what i like about the distinction, there was a moment when joe biden said something at a minimum a little tricky. listen to joe biden and his comment about where we might end up if romney ended up winning. >> romney wants to -- he said in the first 100 days, he's going to let the big banks write their own rules. unchain wall street. they are going to put y'all back in chains. >> uncle joe. >> wait. of course, immediately you get that statement. he's talking change. it was this distinction. yeah but he's running as the vice president with the black guy. they are supporting a set of public policy that is support racial inequality. >> i can help him out. mousey, where you at? yeah! i agree with you because not all republicans are racist. all republicans hate poor people. what i also can't say is their policies disenfranchises communities of color. even if it's not racism, it's disdain for people who weren't born into that privilege or don't have that kind of privilege now. i think even the one who is have black friends, really, really zero animosity. because they don't know what it's like to grow up in communities like that, i really think they don't know about institutionalized racism. pull themselves up by their boot straps. maybe i'm helping them by cutting aur entitlements. >> the dog whistle words. all this dependency on racial programs. newt gingrich was on fox news saying obama is too busy playing basketball and mitt romney made a birther joke. yeah, we can't say necessarily that these individuals are racist. the dog whistle words meant to evoke fear and a reaction. >> molly, we are going to come back on that. what we are going to do when we come back, i'm going to show you things that happened in 2012 and i'm going to ask you the question, is that racist? 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(together) happy. i love logistics. >>> we are back. since we have all these individuals at the table, i thought it would be a good time for a lightning round. this is a lightning round with molly, mason, elan and jaime. we have been talking race in 2012. i'm asking you the question, was that racist? i have, because any good race person needs it, a race card. everyone at the table has a race card. i'll show you a picture or listen to a little bit of a soundbyte and you tell me, was that racist. start with this one. here is a picture of arizona's governor, january brewer back in january when president obama came to visit. she's standing on the tarmac and she said she felt threatened, therefore stuck her finger in his face and yelled at him. is that moment racist? lots of race cards on that one. >> i'm surprised she didn't bring in sheriff joe. >> you felt threatened by the most visible negro in the world. surrounded by security, you thought he was going to do something. >> plenty of people should feel threatened by the president, but not the governor of arizona. >> i'm racist because i heard governor brewer and i put up my card. >> i heard arizona and put up my race card. >> there are lovely people in arizona. let's listen to this one. this is our friend newt gingrich. this is the guy who ran for president saying a noun, a verb and food stamp. in january, this is newt gingrich discussing his plan for our children. >> you could take one janitor and hire 37 kids to work in the school for the price of one janitor. those 30 kids would be a lot less likely to drop out, have money in their pocket, learn to show up for work. >> this is his plan for american children. cheap janitorial work. is this racist? one race card, two race cards, not sure, jaime? >> only because as a white guy, i'm trying to absol b my -- he probably meant it as racist. >> for people and people of color. >> we needed a poverty card to do an intersection. >> i'm going with he's racist because he said palestinians don't exist. >> i keep cheating looking at elan's card. >> i didn't call racist, i called a-hole. he's an a-hole. it's ridiculous what he was requesting, but i don't feel as if it was racist. there's so many other things. completely protected in his bubble of wealth and privilege, but racist? >> maybe not. >> advisers that he was thinking of honey boo boo and how successful that child labor violation went. >> a little honey boo boo for everybody. mitt romney made a joke back in august. it's a joke where he's feeling good. you can tell he's feeling the crowd. listen to mitt romney back in august. >> now, i love being home in this place where ann and i were raised, where both of us were born. no one's ever asked to see my birth certificate, this is the place we were born and raised. here born and raised is this a racist moment? >> no, just utter stupidity. a disconnect with the fact that's the most inappropriate thing he could have ever said, we already put it to bed. as a comedian, i find it unsulting that he used such an old, played out joke. >> you ever seen white people dance. >> if you argue that it plays into racist tones, yes, i argue yes. do i think that day he was racist? again, it was a bad move. he was feeling it. >> he was. >> he stopped as if he was the rock and smelled the air around him as he made the joke and everyone clapped. they were a little too happy when he was like we were born here. yeah, i would have liked to have been a black guy there. >> the reason it's racist is because he wouldn't have said that if he was talking about joe biden. it would be confusing. is delaware not a state anymore? it was clear ly pulverizing barack obama. >> we needed other cards. the race card is insufficient. >> it's a big thing that is put on something. sometimes it's like prejudice. it's so big. you are completely an a-hole, but are you a racist? >> this will get us unsure. this happened just this week. i have to tell you, nerdland could not decide. this is a photograph of arizona senator, keep your card down. i said arizona. john mccain, he went to the fight kraft hunger bowl and took this picture with a giant oreo. is this racist? >> it's just weird. unless he tweeted out and said he and obama, it would be racist. what the hell are you doing mccain? i feel like it's an old white dude saying hey, an oreo cookie. where is this oreo's birth certificate? >> it could have been quickly, but i don't think so. >> this isn't racist, this is delicious. yummy. >> we do in louisiana, we fry oreo's in batter and eat fried oreo's. it's quite delicious. thank you to molly, elan and jaime. more in a moment. right now, it is time for a preview or weekends with alex witt hosted by a black guy. >> oh my goodness. champaign, oreo cookies, a-hole thrown in there. i'm on the wrong show. i digress. good morning to you all. the house is back. the senate is back. everybody is back and the president is talking this morning. he's talking exclusively to "meet the press." we'll have details on what may be a small deal developing. also, what will not be in that deal. also, folks, looks like your taxes are going to go up in some fashion. we'll explain all of that. the pieces are in place for bounceback 2013. that's good news. there are three more ways washington could mess this whole thing up. >>> plus, the rush to buy guns since the newtown shooting. we talk to a person who went to a gun show. also in today's office politics, alex is talking to lester holt with his fascination of aviation and the interesting people he rocked out with. all of that coming up shortly. get back to the bubbly now. >> i hope i still get to do this next week. >> you'll be back. >> thanks for sitting in today. >> no problem. >>> up next, nerdland is revealed in the form of cartoon "avatar"s. [ male announcer ] with over 50 delicious choices of green giant vegetables it's easy to eat like a giant... ♪ and feel like a green giant. ♪ ho ho ho ♪ green giant >>> the name of this show is melissa harris perry. do not be fooled, i don't create this show by myself. what you see is the result of the brilliant insight, commitment and hard work of a whole team of people. the last show of the year seems like the right time to say thank you. to introduce you to the many nerds who bring you nerdland every week, have a safe and happy new year celebration. we'll see you in 2013. roll it. droid dna augmentation initiated. vision expanding to a 5-inch 1080p hd display and camera. touch acquiring nfc. hearing evolving with beats audio. wireless charging activated. introducing droid dna by htc. it's not an upgrade to your phone. it's an upgrade to yourself.